i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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