Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
