Everything about him screamed your future.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
