that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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