did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
