it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize