Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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