Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
