Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
