hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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