Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
