I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
