you guys were way drunker than both of me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
