it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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