I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
