And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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