if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
