I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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