you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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