god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's never too late to be topless.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
