addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
