I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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