Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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