How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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