Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
