u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think my nap took me to another dimension
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
