Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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