i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
love makes seman taste better
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize