This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
