Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
