Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
