make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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