I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
