Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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