she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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