dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize