its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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