there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
