Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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