my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
