It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
