the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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