she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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