this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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