Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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