i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
