I just pynch a tree in the face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
