he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
