Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
