I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so let's talk penis.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
