Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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