I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
