i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
