Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
