The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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