return my video game
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
