Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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