He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
