i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
