he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
