...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
